Yoga Gives Me a Sense of Control
It is hard to believe that it has been almost three months since I lost the baby I so desperately wanted.
At first, I complained about having to wait three months before trying to conceive again. Now that the
time has passed, I realize that I really did need to heal physically and emotionally.
As we prepare to start trying again, I’m worried about losing another baby or it taking almost another
year before we even get pregnant. The past year has been such a roller coaster that I can’t help but
expect the worse. There are two things that have kept me sane throughout this process: writing and
Writing gives me a place to explore and discuss my concerns and fears and struggles. There aren’t many people who know or understand my miscarriage, so writing is like my free therapist.
Yoga, on the other hand, has given me control over my body. For the past year, I’ve felt like my
hormones were so out of whack. I almost didn’t even recognize myself anymore. I gained weight and
started breaking out like a teenager. Yoga keeps me from feeling helpless.
When I practice every day, I remember that while I can’t control when or if I have a baby, I can control
how I treat my body. I can make myself as healthy as possible for the child I hope to bear, and I can keep my mind calm and focused. I don’t have to feel out of control.
I don’t know what will happen in the next few months, but I know I am strong enough to handle
whatever life throws my life. Let’s just hope it’s a healthy pregnancy.